This place is magical. A few weeks back we got to go to Savannah, a place that will always have so much meaning to me. It's where I went to school, found a community of people I adored, the first place that felt like home that wasn't, and where Will and I lived our first year of marriage. 

I always get asked what it was like to live around such beauty and history, and it really was amazing, but it was the people there that always made me open my eyes wider. I realize that we were living the dream. Living within a few mile radius of all your best friends is such a rarity, and I'll never stop looking back to those years. Savannah itself is just quirky and hilarious. One second you could be stuck behind a trolley bus full of tourists, and the next behind a carriage. But its got character to say the least and every time Will and I go we always ask why we aren't moving back there.

My best friend Sophie got married and I honestly couldn't be more excited about it. She's such a beauty and to get to see her marry Brooks was a moment I'll always think back to fondly. They're just the kind of people I feel I can be my whole self around, honest. Sophie and I met at a pancake breakfast and from that moment on I knew I had to be her friend and we pretty much were from the start. And when she met Brooks he just became like family to me. Sophie would come and wake me up with coffee some days at my house in college and make my day to day stresses not seem so big. And Brooks was always kind and willing to listen, once on a road trip when Will and I had just said goodbye for 6 months (we were engaged and he studied abroad in Rome) Brooks just let me cry on and off for 2 hours while making conversation. Its just so refreshing to have friends that know and love you even when life feels hard and overwhelming. They are just even that much better together. So, here's to you, Tompkins!

Being out of school just creates so much uncertainty. It feels like everyone has it all figured out when really they don't. I think I thought that I would have my life laid out by now, but life is so funny in that way, and I've just been learning that I'll never be done growing and there is beauty in that and showing your vulnerability through the unknown. Something I keep telling myself (and my friends laugh at me for because it could easily be written on a coffee mug) is life really is too short to do anything you don't want to do and to be in a unhealthy environment. Just go with your gut and trust it. Looking back on so many times I can see that I knew within the first couple of hours something wasn't right for me. I often want to do the "right thing", which tends to make me stick around in something long after I should be out. 

So to be completely honest, I'm looking for a job and it has been one of stranger times of my life. And if I am going to be completely totally transparent, I had a job, and long story short, it was not a great fit and for me due to the lack of communication and training and the amount of stress and anxiety I was feeling was unhealthy. I was made to feel inconvenient for being new, and that's not something I want from a place I spend eight plus hours a day. I just want to be in a space that encourages learning and training with respect, because honestly, that's how you grow. But because it's what I thought I should do, I stayed while everyday knowing this was not my path. I wanted to try to squeeze into it. After all this I have realized to force something that won't be is just useless and disappointing. 

The other day Will and I were taking a walk and he asked me if I knew what a weed was. When I answered that I didn't he said, "a weed is a flower that grows in the wrong place." Its hard to not feel that way now, with a million directions I could go, but I choose to know I'll get this figured out and one day the path will feel less wobbly. ​

Its been a while, to put it shortly. Considering my last post was from 2014, so much has changed since then. Getting married, graduating, moving, moving again, and about to move again, I just wanted some consistency and a place to look back at here. I think back to my posts from 2014 and I just cared what people thought so much it made me much more anxious to post. So I'm just going to keep this up over here and post whatever I feel I want to. There's so much freedom in realizing that I do not need to do or act for the masses, but just to be myself. 

So just to start and update, heres some highlights from life.